Perspective on Loss

On my plane ride back from my seven week adventure in Richmond, VA, I began to think about the last time I experienced deep loss and realized the two experiences could not even be equated.

As the father of four little girls under the age of six years, the husband to my wife of 14 years, and as a man who gave up the security of the boat to go where Jesus was calling, I am saddened - but not overwhelmed. I am hurting but I am not a victim. I was terminated without severence, and without warning. But this is nothing.

I have experienced true loss in my life. The most painful experience I have experienced was in the Valley of Infertility and Miscarriage. For six years, Kristy and I walked through confusion, sorrow, and elation that was crushed when we miscarried the baby we believed to be an answered prayer to the cry of our heart. We felt empty, frightened, alone, confused and angry. We had a difficult time trusting the Lord after that. When my wife became pregnant again a year or so later - I held my spiritual breath. I did not want to experience HOPE and EXPECTATION because I was so fearful we would experience loss again and lose our second baby.

We did not. God blessed us with Sofia, our first born...then Naomi...then Violet...then (inhale deep breath) Jessica. (We bought a TV for the bedroom after Jessie was born.) :)

I am convinced my girls are blessings from the Lord. They are gifts. And I believe that because of the loss we experienced, we have become "better" parents then we would have been.

I am hopeful about our future. God's calling on my life to serve the church as Senior Pastor is still clear, real, and present tense. God brought me out of the BOAT of First Redeemer. He then brought me out of the BOAT of Salary. We now simply trust and wait on the Lord to show us the direction He is leading. We belong to Him. He is our God. We trust in Him. We trust our fellow man. We trust and love the Church. To God be the Glory.

Psalm 121 (NIV) 1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 7 The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; 8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

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